I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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