Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Michael Bay diarrhea
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
