Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
