you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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