You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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