do herpes really smell.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Randomize
