I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
