so let's talk penis.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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