Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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