where does the pee come out of this thing
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
