I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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