A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
