i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
