You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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