just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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