Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize