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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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