I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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