I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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