I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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