I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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