Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
