I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
