Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i've created a new STD.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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