playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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