My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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