Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
