I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
