I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
