I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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