I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
