don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
