Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize