i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
