She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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