I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
they're like a gay fantastic four
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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