you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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