Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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