i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
