there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
