he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize