Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
