Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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