gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
