what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize