Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
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