And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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