Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Is it because I queefed?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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