literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You know, be my cock's hype man.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize