This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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