Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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