Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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