D3 body, D1 cock
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
