Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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