she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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