you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize