He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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