did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
