She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just want nice things and good sex
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
