I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize