I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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