And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's official drugs can't kill me
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
