Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
