he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
