Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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