Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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