Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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