she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize