It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
