I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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