I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
